Where it All Began
or
Planes, Trains and Automobiles
y travels began in
pain and discomfort that were to last me for at least a
couple of days. Getting out of town isn't very easy for
me, partly because I always have a ton of things to do,
and partly because I just hate leaving town, I hate
leaving my apartment, and most of all, I hate leaving
my kitten alone. As a
matter of fact, I hate travelling. All in all, I'd rather
just stay home and watch
television, but unfortunately, everything was going
to be in reruns for a couple of weeks. This is probably
one of the big reasons why I don't often go on trips like
this, and why I chose something so irritating to do - it
makes the whole experience that much more worthwhile..
I suppose it didn't help any that I also chose the eve of my departure as the ideal time to break a molar. Well, think of it as an early assault on my senses, in preparation for the full body experience I had in store for me.
I'm going to step away from the narrative for a moment, mainly because it's gotten pretty boring, to note that the great minds of the world have got together and decided on the most inconvenient mode of travel imaginable. They take the worst that anyone can imagine, and make it a lot worse. We're all familiar with the basic inconveniences of air travel, and the miniature seats this entails. Intercontinental travel does this one better, because they considerately schedule the flights to depart and arrive at the worst possible times.
When I contemplate the evil genius behind the departure time for my flight, I realize that I have neither the intelligence nor creativity to heap such exquisite discomfort onto a bunch of unsuspecting people, trying to do nothing more than have a good time.
As with other flights to London, the flight leaves in the evening, meaning that most of the day will be spent doing nothing, in anxious anticipation of fun, travel and adventure. The flight will cross five time zones, meaning that the hapless passengers will only get three or four hours of sleep in one of the world's most uncomfortable seats, sitting amid deafening noise. What awaits at the other end, for our exhausted traveler? The start of a new day, and at least six hours before anyone can check into a hotel for a really good nap.
If there were a Nobel prize for orneriness, the people who thought this up would be a shoe-in.
All of this meant that I had to spend my first day wasting time, and what better way to waste time than to go to one of my seemingly dozens of jobs? This one was at the UConn medical school, which proved to be an extremely poor choice on my part, because they wouldn't let me leave until someone looked at my broken molar.
He said it was very nice.
Afterward, I took my very nice
broken molar, and my very dented car (or "tree
catcher," as I've taken to calling it) on a
meandering, winding trip from Hartford to Boston Logan
airport, stopping at one bank, and getting lost somewhere
between I-495 and I-95 at least once. Hey, it was good
for killing a few hours, and another gallon of windshield
washer fluid.
Any visit to Boston Logan airport reminds me of one of the universal truths in my life: "Friends don't ask friends to drive to Logan." I obviously don't like myself very much. The architects of Logan obviously don't like anyone very much. I got lost several times, and took at least three laps of the airport. I never did find the outlying parking, mainly because I just couldn't bring myself to drive into that sort of neighborhood. Ultimately, I decided to park in the airport lot.
I discovered that among all its other free amenities, Virgin Atlantic offers its customers exercise, in abundance. They schedule their departures at a terminal ("B") at one end of the airport, and their arrivals at another terminal ("E") at the other end of the airport. I was obviously going to get to lug my luggage (gee, I think I may have discovered an etymology!) all over the place!
Inside the terminal, I discovered that there was just no way that my brand new luggage (the luggage guaranteed to be "carry-on sized") was going to qualify as carry-on luggage. Shoot. And here, I wanted to try my hand at being one of those aisle blockers on the plane.
Anyone who knows me very well will probably completely fail to be surprised to hear that waiting for the plane in the terminal was probably the high point of my day. It gave me a chance to think. It gave me a chance to people watch. It gave me a chance to read. It gave me a chance to do nothing in a chair that was only slightly more comfortable than an airplane seat. I came to realize that I've spent so long in school that my education stopped years ago. I realized this because when I tried to read a little, I realized that I'd completely forgot how.
People watching proved to be much more entertaining. To be specific, watching the flight crew arrive was entertaining. First, I noticed that for some reason, all the female flight attendants were blonde, and inexplicably indistinguishable from Patsy on Absolutely Fabulous. The rest of the flight crew weren't so distinguished, but were uniformly involved in wondering where their aircraft was.
I always think it's a bad sign when the Captain can't find his aircraft. Then again, some things may be better left un-found, but it wasn't clear to me that this was one of them. As bad as I thought it was, it clearly seemed worse to the captain. Perhaps it was going to come out of his paycheck.
Well, despite assurances that the flight was to leave on time, there was the matter of finding the airplane. And after the airplane was found, there was the matter of finding enough airline employees to allow us to board the plane.
Hmm. Missing plane. Missing ground crew. Missing ticketing agents. I often miss the significance of these things while they're happening.
They eventually found the plane and eventually let us board it. Virgin has done quite a nice job of this. They take old, beat up 747s, and really jazz them up on the inside. (It's too bad that they don't do the same for the outside.) We all had little TV sets at each seat, and they didn't even charge for the drinks. They have a satellite beaming six channels of movies and TV shows down to the plane while in flight, and even had some halfway interesting things to watch.
This, of course, is to keep you awake throughout the flight so you'll be incredibly un-rested when you show up in London at 8:00 AM, but I often miss the significance of these things while they're happening.
Best of all was the fact that the plane was nearly empty. This meant that anyone who wanted one could find a whole row of seats to stretch out on.
I often miss the significance of these things while they're happening.
Well, other than leaving about a half an hour late, it wasn't a bad start for the vacation. Then again, arrival was something else to be tackled, but that's for later.
Follow me as I am trapped on a flight to nowhere...
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