Epilogue
The Aftermath
and
An Ending of Sorts
If this were a sane, predictable world, I'd tell you that everyone returned to their homes, forgot about the whole thing and lived happily forever after (with appropriate therapy). But, this isn't a sane or predictable world.
Those of us who got their hair corn-rowed at Jennifer's hands got a few weeks of peer abuse before we removed our braids. Might as well have cut them off, for as long as they took to unbraid. And, they got so dirty that I found a half a mackerel in one of mine.
Many of us had skin rashes, fungal infections, and other related irritants to deal with. In the weeks to come, I found cortisone cream, athlete's foot powder and ibuprofen to be my best friends in the entire world. Judging from the choruses (in the van on the way home) of "Don't scratch my butt; my itchy, scritchy butt," I wasn't the only person with skin problems. Most of them cleared up rather quickly, except for all the skin on my hands and arms turning to ash a week or so after I got back.
For my efforts, my ultimate hardware damage toll was one corroded cellular phone battery, one slightly (but not fatally) waterlogged digital diary, and of course, those aforementioned "U" shaped books, which I am proud to report are still "U" shaped. Of course, there was also a duffel bag full of bilge-soaked clothing, but for all we'd been through, that didn't seem much like a casualty.
Getting my balance back wasn't so easy. Some would still say that still I haven't got it back, but as long as I stay on fairly solid ground and near indoor plumbing, things feel fairly stable to me. My roommates, on the other hand, reported getting quite seasick watching me rocking in my seat for the first week after I got back.
Kathy returned to patent her new "Slimquick Diet." According to Kathy, it's a simple way to lose weight: "Yak for breakfast, yak for lunch, then a sensible dinner."
Robert returned to Nashua with a raging infection in his knee. This infection put him in the hospital for a couple of days, where they fed him so many antibiotics that they permanently ruined his ability to digest food. He spent a few weeks bouncing around doctors offices after that until one of them finally prescribed him something for the intestinal infection that he got as a side effect of the medicine to kill the infection in his knee. It's too soon to say what sort of side effect infection he'll get from the medication for his intestine.
Many of the participants of Sail 93 not only insisted on contacting each other after the trip, but have even gone so far as to suggest that we all do it again sometime. This is proof positive that delirium is not necessarily a short term condition.
So far, it appears that at least one of the many shipboard romances is still in full bloom. Who knows? Maybe a shipboard wedding is in order.
As for Georgia ... where do I start?
For starters, Georgia has forgiven me for everything I did on this trip, other than my treatment of her in this travelogue. Well, she's right, I wasn't fair. It's just that if I was fair and told the truth, it would be boring, and where's the fun in that?
Georgia has decided to do this for a living. I'm not sure if that means inflicting trauma, or just chartering boat cruises. In any case, she's got the Southern Cross all lined up as her new meal ticket, and in the process has talked one US Congressman into passing a bill on her behalf to accommodate this change in career. She's also proven what must be an age old adage that every politician can be bribed, especially the local variety. Expect to see her on the next installment of "Lifestyles of the Megalomaniac."
I'd like to wrap this all up in a nice tidy ending, but since there wasn't anything nice or tidy about the vacation, I guess I really can't. I'd like to say that I had a great time. Hell, I'd like to say a lot of things.
Well, I did have a good time. Just don't tell anyone, because it would ruin my reputation if it got out that I actually had a good time being outside, under any circumstances. Everyone else had a good time, too (or so they tell me), as evidenced by the near unanimous enthusiasm to do it again.
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